


Cats vs Dogs

by sexbornpoison



Series: The Kuntbastian Chronicles [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexbornpoison/pseuds/sexbornpoison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian wants a dog. Hunter wants a cat. And Kurt? Kurt swears he already lives with a pair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cats vs Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> Grant being such a dog person sort of inspired a headcanon with the likes of Sebastian being one and the same. Also, this is dedicated to Claire (hunterclaringstan.tumblr) just because.

It was probably an unspoken rule that in a relationship like theirs, one of the three should always step in and hold it together when two engaged in a disagreement. Of course, this wasn't always effective when all three had tempers to begin with and on several occasions the boys would throw fits at each other, all at the same time.

They worked things out in the end though, as stubborn as they could get and to their surprise it was this exact hard-headed, passionate interior each possessed that propelled the ebb and flow of what Santana proudly coined as, 'Kuntbastian' - adding emphasis on the first syllable.

Despite having the rule somewhere swimming in Kurt's hazy state of mind, his mouth let out a soft puff of breath at the tense voices that followed after the sound of the apartment door closing rather loudly. With effort, he turned on the couch, settling into a more comfortable position as he willed his consciousness back into the lull of slumber.

"Are you fucking kidding!? That... thing you called a Siamese was the ugliest fucking cat I've ever seen! Christ, Hunter, the way you looked at it made me miss Mr. Puss!"

"And you think that pug was any better?!" the ex-military student's challenge boomed even louder, causing Kurt to wince.

"It was the perfect balance of pudgy and cute!" Sebastian hissed, dropping their grocery bags on the kitchen table before pivoting and facing the other man, maintaining the same scowl that graced his face since they left the pet shop the two spontaneously stopped at on their way home.

"Sure it is, if you're into owning an overgrown rat that survived after having its face smashed against the wall by the fucking Hulk!" Hunter snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hold on a sec, why are you talking about Mr. Puss?" Sebastian retorted, the mocking look of confusion turning what Kurt was sure to be a petty disparity into a full-blown clash between his boyfriends. Hunter's reaction was instant, his fists clenching into dangerous, tight orbs as his adam's apple bobbed, "Don't you dare talk about Mr. Puss like that", he whispered, almost too silent for Kurt to hear. He had been prepared to suggest that they 'fuck it off'(it did wonders for him and Sebastian, he reasoned), without him, ideally, and let him rest from a gruelling day but he knew Sebastian had crossed a line. 

The discomfort from waking up too early had completely disappeared and he began to sit up slowly, the back of his left hand massaging his eyelids. It was as if his anxiety had alerted the taller men standing a few feet from him, Sebastian and Hunter casting their eyes on him. Kurt's heart sank as they turned to gaze at each other one more time, twin looks of fury bleeding from their livid state, before both were rushing over to Kurt on the couch, one on each side.

"Hey beautiful," Hunter began, both hands coming up to rest on one side of his face and on his chin, searching green eyes meeting glasz before Hunter slotted his lips to his. There was desperation in the kiss, Kurt could tell, coming from Sebastian's admittedly unnecessary jab and he gave as much as he knew Hunter needed, ignoring the lethargy screaming at him to return to comfort of sleep, to peace. He could sense Sebastian watching them from behind him and a hand began to brush the back of his head the strong, slender fingers of the Parisian already familiar to him. He had meant to let Hunter be the one to pull away, Hunter had been leading the kiss after all, but Kurt knew how Hunter kissed and he could bet that this was the type that wouldn’t stop unless he did it himself, let alone the faint smirk Kurt could feel against his lips confirming his suspicion that Hunter was beginning his payback.

The hand that had been brushing his hair was now on his shoulder, the grip too firm and with a sigh Kurt pulled away, turning his head but not before taking Hunter’s hand in his, sliding their fingers together. He faced Sebastian, receiving the man’s greeting in the form a soft kiss, so unlike Hunter’s and so unlike Sebastian that Kurt wondered if the other man was already beginning to regret what he had thrown at Hunter earlier. Sebastian’s lips moved to his nose, pecking the tip lightly before angling down to his jaw line, resuming a series of faint brushes and Kurt wished Sebastian was doing this Hunter because this was Sebastian’s strong point, communicating with his body.

“Hey, babe,” Sebastian murmured after he pulled away, the mask of his cocky tone failing him with the wary expression evident in his eyes.

“Okay, why don’t we discuss this calmly,” Kurt muttered, wincing at how even his voice gave away his fatigue but he was impatient to have the two let the debacle go.

“So remember what we talked about last week? About getting a pet? Hunter and I were on our way home-”

“And I told him that it’d be better to canvass when we’re complete,” Hunter cut in, the hand he had linked with Hunter’s now compressed with both of Hunter’s hands around his.

“And if I recall correctly, I wasn’t alone in browsing that pet store so you can take your fucking justifica-“

“Guys, please,” Kurt interrupted this time, slouching further down on the couch and the way his eyelids were threatening to shut tight was beginning to embarrass him given how both men needed him in this situation.

“Kurt, are-

“Babe, you-“

They stopped as soon as they began, shooting each other exasperated looks. A moment passed with the two exchanging another silent battle before Sebastian rolled his eyes and waved his hand, shaking his head as he slipped an arm around Kurt’s shoulders, leaning his cheek on Kurt’s messy head.

“You okay?” Hunter murmured, the disdain on his features swept away by concern. He pulled Kurt’s hand gently towards him, resting the limb on his lap.

“Work was a little more hectic than usual today, really,” he answered, his mouth forming an ‘o’ moments later as he was tugged by Sebastian who had leaned his back on the armrest, pulling Kurt with him. He hummed as Sebastian’s hands began wandering over his torso soothingly, his head resting comfortable on his chest and not long after, Hunter followed suit by pushing Sebastian’s leg, bending it to make room for him and lifting Kurt’s to settle on his lap.

Kurt looked up, shooting Sebastian a suspicious look before looking over at Hunter, whose face gave away the tactic being used by both boys as he caught the glare Hunter sent over to Sebastian before returning to the concerned expression he was giving Kurt.

“No, you’re not making me the tie-breaker,” Kurt stated with finality, rolling his eyes at the groans simultaneously coming out of both his boyfriends.

“But-“

“Baby-“

“No, both of you already bribed me into agreeing to let an animal live with us-“

“Well, you can’t complain with _how_ we bribed you to agree, am I right Hunter?” Sebastian smirked and Kurt couldn’t decide if he was relieved or frustrated with how Hunter chuckled at Sebastian’s words. It was progress, he decided.

“Look,” Kurt sat up, shifting on the couch so he could lean on the backrest this time, “I’m not making a decision that would cause one of you to resent the fact that I let the other have his way on his expense.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Sebastian drop his head backwards and on his left, Hunter pouted, his finger tracing over Kurt’s palm. He sighed, already dreading his words because one pet was a disaster, but two? He just hoped the animals would chew and ruin both his boyfriends’ clothes and shoes (it’s not like Sebastian owned a lot of decent pieces anyway) instead of his.

“Let’s get both. A cat and a dog, I mean,” Kurt offered, biting his lip and looking between both men as he savoured their reactions.

“Seriously?” Sebastian shot up, returning his arm around Kurt’s shoulders just as Hunter leaned his face closer to Kurt’s, a grin making its way on his angular face.

Kurt nodded, taking Sebastian’s hand and dragging the one Hunter had encased in his and brought them together, squeezing them as he negotiated, “There’s three of us and two of them, but I’ll have both of you know that if I find myself cleaning up after everything with little to no help from either of you-“

“Never, beautiful, it won’t come to that point,” Hunter reassured him, his grin too infectious for Kurt not to grin himself.

“And one more thing,” Kurt added, waiting for both men to settle down, though the high-five they shared bolstered him that his request shouldn’t be farfetched. “You two kiss and make up.”

He could see Sebastian barely contain a snort, “Just a kiss?” Nonetheless, he crooked his finger at Hunter who was already leaning over and in a moment, the two shared what was far too dirty for what Kurt considered a make up kiss. Kurt rolled his eyes fondly, sighing in content at the sight in front of him.

“Bedroom,” Hunter muttered, breaking away from Sebastian after a moment to which the other nodded eagerly.

Kurt settled back, deciding to resume his well-deserved nap as he shut his eyelids to welcome the sandman, “Try to keep it down, I love you two.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow, sharing a look with Sebastian before claiming, “Oh, you’re coming with us.”

“You are definitely coming,” Sebastian winked, laughing a moment later when Hunter tossed Kurt over his shoulder, the sound of Kurt’s squeal and Hunter’s deep chuckles filling the apartment as the trio made their way to their bedroom. Sebastian winked at Kurt, who was facing him while propped up on Hunter’s shoulder, and cradled his boyfriend’s face for what was the beginning of endless liplocks that evening.

It was when Kurt was ready to finally, _finally,_ take his rest after their fourth round, whimpering as Hunter moved his limbs in a comfortable position to sleep, when he realized that he’d live with two pairs of cats and two pairs of dogs following Sebastian’s next comment.

“Fuck, that was hot. So, babe, who made you come harder, me or Hunt?”

The hiss coming from his left confirmed that no, the night was definitely not over.

 


End file.
